NUMBERING OUR DAYS
Psalm 39:3,4 My heart grew hot within me, and as I meditated, the fire burned; and then I spoke with my tongue: “Show me, O Lord, my life’s end and the number of my days; let me know how fleeting is my life.
In 1955 I was eight years old, and I was watching TV on a Sunday morning by myself. A tent evangelist by the name of Oral Roberts came on and I began to watch him. I remember that he was very passionate as he talked about Jesus. It was interesting because our family didn’t even attend church, let alone talk about Jesus or pray before our meals. What I was seeing was certainly something very new for me, but it was as though what he was saying was drawing me like a magnet. I can remember my fascination as I listened to him. Instead of turning on cartoons or going off to do something else I sat down before the TV, crossed my legs and began to listen intently. After he preached for awhile, he invited anyone that needed healing to come up to him and he would place his hands on them and pray for their healing. It was amazing how many of the people responded. Some just stood there with their heads bowed and their hands lifted up. Others began to shake violently, weap and others shout. They they would tell Oral Roberts how God had healed them. If they were healed of deftness, he would whisper something and they would tell him what he said. If they walked with a cane, they might bend over or even run around. They would do whatever they couldn’t before they were healed. I had not only not seen anything like this before, but I didn’t even know that Jesus did this for people when he walked on earth. I didn’t even know about Jesus. At the end of his program he said if anyone wanted to believe in Jesus to forgive them of their sins and go to heaven they needed to place their hand on the TV screen, and he would say a prayer and that person would be forgiven and go to heaven. I remember standing up and putting my hand on the screen. Then he said if anyone had done this they could receive a free picture of Jesus. I quickly yelled to my mother to bring a pencil and paper. Fortunately for me she came in time to write down his address. A few weeks later I got my picture just like he had promised. From that on I have always kept that picture in my bedroom. For me it was a reminder of a promise that I believed God would honor. Although our family never went to church very much, every night I would pray the prayer my mother taught me that day I prayed with Oral Roberts. It was the simple prayer, “Now I lay me down to sleep.” As strange as it even sounds now I prayed that prayer until I was 25 years old. Oh, I would add things to it as needs came, but I still would say that same prayer before I would go to sleep.
In 1974 my life changed completely regarding everything I knew about Jesus (this was very little), and my relationship with him. Rev Bill McCloud from Canada had come to our Hillsboro United Methodist Church to do a revival. At that time I had a vision of myself standing before God. Although I was wide awake the vision was so real that it left me shaking, and my heart was burning as if it was on fire. I saw myself standing before God, and to my surprise I was dressed in filth. I was completely unworthy and unacceptable to be in God’s presence. I had assumed that if I tried to be a good person that would be good enough. When I cried out to God, “Why?”, he simply said, “Will you never learn? You can only be forgiven through my Son!” I thought I had, but in reality I was trusting in my own good works and that was not good enough. I went to the altar and asked for forgiveness and for God to come into my heart and life. But then in a shameful act of arrogance I told God that if this wasn’t real I didn’t just want to play church. Then I added that if the vision was real and what I had just done was real I wanted it all. I know that this was arrogant, but this is what was in my heart and I am sure God knew it anyway. Now my heart burned, but in a new way. I didn’t realize it at the time, but God was filling me with the Holy Spirit.
From that moment on my life changed radically. Even that night I had a thousand questions, and wanted an instant download. I didn’t even know the difference between the Old and New Testaments. In some ways God was working with a clean slate. I hadn’t had years of religious doctrine and dogma to work through. At that time all I knew was that I was different and I wanted to be even more different, but for Jesus! I had a great desire to understand the Bible and passion to tell anyone and everyone that would listen even for a little bit what had happened to me.
With my second chance with Jesus came also a regret for the years I spent in vanity and pride just as the old song says. I had lived my life without Jesus, but now I wanted to live my life for him, with him and for his glory. Even though I was 25 years old at the time, I had a great sense of not only time wasted, but the shortness of time left. You see several times in my life I could have very easily have died. I knew that there was no guarantee of how much longer I had or anyone else. I didn’t know what if anything God wanted me to do, but I didn’t want to waste another day.
Since that time I have had open heart surgery with five by passes and two stents as well a surgery for my appendix. By the time the surgeon go it out he said it was already gangrene. I had other things happen too and I continue to have chest pain, but as you can tell I am still alive. But it is because of this the numbering of my days seems to be even more important to me. It is as if I am almost in a race to see how much more God can use me before I finally get to go home and be with Jesus. I don’t know as you don’t know how much longer we have to live. We could die in a car wreck, fall and hit our head or have a heart attack. The big question is are we ready to go be with the Lord, and are we making the most out of our day to bless and glorify Jesus?
Almost six months ago I would suddenly wake up and when I would look at my digital clock it would be at 2:22. This happened many times. I prayed about it and even looked up scripture verses with 222 in them. Then I began to see different sets of numbers coming up on our other digital clocks during the day. Sometimes it would be 1:11, 12:12, 3:33, 2:22. By the way no 6:66! But God never seemed to give me insight into this, but it left me with a great sense of wonder and expectation.
Now that I am retired there doesn’t seem to be a lot a head for me. But my days are not over here on earth and neither are yours I assume since you are reading this. No matter how much time we have left, we can still live to glorify Jesus. (I Cor 10:31) I am not waiting for the fat lady to sing so to speak. And while I recognize the time I have left may be short, I plan to use it the best I can to bless and glorify the one I love most and owe everything to, my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ! How about you?
Prayer: Lord Jesus, thank you for being so patient with us, and forgiving us in spite of our many sins. You are and always will be so good to us. Please help us to be like David and consider our days as fleeting as they may be. Please help us to bless and glorify you in every breath we take. We love you Jesus!
